I never got to be in the same room with Monte.

It was 1986 and my grandmother had recently passed away of aplastic anemia. My mom's cousin who was also Monte's mother had grown closer to my mother and was spending time with my mother, dad, papa, and me. I was five years old when Monte dropped off his mother at my Papa's house. He was driving his grandpa's Cadillac and as I remember as thirty seven year old, he had a huge smile and seemed to be in a good mood. I thought, " who was that cute boy?" As music on MTV played on my Papa's television, I wanted to know who that cute boy was. I did not ask.

Fast forward to the summer of 1991. Monte's mom had been diagnosed with a form of brain cancer. My mom, who was named Mary Katherine, worshiped Monte's mom. Her name was Mary Katherine too. Their mothers were sisters. One sister was named Mary and the other sister was named Katherine. Also we have A LOT of Mary's in my family. It broke my mother's heart that her favorite cousin was sick was brain cancer. I will never forget sitting in my Papa's living room listening to him explain that Monte's mom would lose all of her hair due to chemotherapy and radiation therapy. I also remember imagining her hair being very curly once it grew out. I even imagine a group of doctors performing surgery on her. My mother was not beside herself but I knew Mary Katherine's illness was on her mind.

Mary Katherine passed away the day before Monte's birthday on September 12th, 1992. She did not even get to see her fiftieth birthday. Monte spent his twenty-sixth birthday without a mom. I did not get to attend her graveside funeral, but I know I wanted to be Monte's friend. Of course I was in the sixth grade, but why would a twenty six year old want to be friends with a second cousin who was about to turn twelve years old in a month? After Monte's mom passed away, my mother turned her attention to the greatest Papa in the whole wide world. My papa was eighty six years old and his health had worsened. Once he passed away on April 5th, 1994 the losses we experienced were soon forgotten. My sister was about to get married in December tenth of that same year, but I mourned his death even though it was his time to pass away.

Once my sister was married, my father who was a Presbyterian minister in Lampasas, Texas was hired to be a minster in Waxahachie, Texas. Monte's grandmother and her siblings were born nearby in Red Oak, Texas. So it felt like we would be near family history on me and Monte's side of the family. I forgot the life I had when I visited my grandparents in San Antonio out of my mind and had to look forward to the future in a small town near Dallas, Texas. I was a freshman in high school.

Fast forward to ten years later when I was married to my husband Ben. He was stationed at Dyess Air Force base in Abilene, Texas. He had the option to move to San Antonio, Texas where he could work at Randolph Air Force base. I instantly got excited to move to San Antonio to continue my grandparents' legacy whatever it was. This was in 2005.

Twelve years after I moved to San Antonio after adjusting to the city, I learned how to sew children's clothes. I started sewing for charity and I found my second cousin Monte. I reached out to him after thinking about him for twelve years. He was not what I expected. He was actually nice and not judgmental like most of my family members. Monte acknowledged my work! I tried so many times to get him to visit and come over for the holidays. I think he was shy and wanted my mother to be at my house because she knew more about his mother. Now that he is no longer on this earth, I am sad because I never got to see him face to face. I would be mad at the world, but I am just glad he will get to spend his birthday in heaven for the the first time in twenty six years with his mother.